Who Are You Gonna Call?

Whether you are a producer, writer or director, sooner or later your project needs the advice of an expert. Movies cost millions. Their development is much like the setup of a million-dollar business. So think of the expert as a business coach. Major decisions will indirectly impact on your business' bottom line. Any advice leading to those decisions will in some way or other contribute to the success or failure of your project, your slate, your career.

It all starts with that first draft.

You give it to a friend, because your friend likes you enough to sacrifice a couple of hours and help your future Hollywood career.

But unless that friend is a pro, how can you expect expert advise? Your friend may have never read a single screenplay, produced or unproduced.

McKee says: don't ask your friends to read your script, but to listen to your story summary, told over a coffee. Ten minutes, no more.

So how is that going to help you?

I'm not sure your friend will distinguish a wonderfully told screen story with engaging characters from something that is wildly imaginitive but plain wrong for the screen.

If your friend doesn't work in a creative position in the industry, will you get reliable career advise? I think not.

Honest advise you may get from a producer or an agent, even an experienced fellow writer. These people's businesses rely on stories that sell. You might ask a director or actor for their opinion, but - with all due respect - it will be less reliable.

If no working professional sacrifices their time to further your aspirations, don't despair. There is an army of script editors, screenplay consultants, story analysts etc. out there to help you.

Whether you like it or not, you are going to pay them.

DO YOU TRUST THIS PERSON?

If you are a first-time writer, you will need input on more than one draft and over the course of many months until your script is ready to go into the world and compete with already established writers.

If you are serious about breaking in and earning a buck, think hard about who you are giving your money to. Good advice can be costly.

But cheap advice can be far more costly.

Too many screenwriters make life-changing decisions based on advice given by their friends, peers or so-called experts. Because people are writers themselves or have web sites advertising their services, they are not necessarily qualified to decide over your future.

The type of collaboration you are entering into is so crucially important, you really need to do your research. Here are a number of questions to consider before you make a decision. And when I speak of (script) editor, I mean 'story or script consultant' in the broader sense.

1. What is the editor's vision on screenwriting?

If you believe real characters don't change and your consultant insists that you must have a character transformation, you are effectively on a different wave length. Check out the consultants' web sites. Does it show their vision on story and script development? Or is it full of marketing speak, flowery promises about bringing out your voice, adding to the local culture etc.? Ultimately you want to become a successful writer, earn money and build a career.

2. What is the editor's vision on script development?

Is it a 'snapshot person'? An experienced reader, specialised merely in providing script notes and assessments? Or is the focus on getting your script from its current draft to something that can be marketed or produced? Does the consultant's approach dig to the core of the story or does it only fiddle with format and style on the surface?

3. What is the script editor's taste for movies?

If yours is an edgy sci-fi with elements of raw graphic violence, your money will be wasted on the king of romantic comedy. Can you find a set of favourite movies you both know? Does the consultant have taste that is broad enough for a true professional?

4. Does the editor differentiate between story and script?

Story deals with plot, which is how most audiences will refer to your film. Script deals with the detailed expression of story on the scene level. Writing script notes takes time but is relatively simple (I'll give you a whole list of tips & tricks for free). When you choose your consultant, be aware of these two areas of expertise.

5. Does the script editor speak your language?

If you talk about story like Syd Field, in Plot Point One and Plot Point Two, things may get complicated when your consultant prefers Crossing the First and Second Threshold. Conversely, if your editor doesn't believe in The Hero's Journey, you have a good reason for concern . A good consultant knows most if not all story theories and establish a terminology that fits your taste and beliefs.

6. Has the script editor published anything?

Does the web site give you more than fees and contact details? Is there a blog? Does it express the type of advice you expect? Are the views expressed on the blog or web site original? Can you find an insight you haven't found anywhere else before, which makes total sense? Or does it all read like a collection of cut-and-paste jobs from Robert McKee or - worse - other web sites?

7. Does the script editor share your passion?

If they care about the craft, it will transpire through their writing. If they are passionate, they will want you to succeed. If they love movies, they will know examples from both mainstream and specialty cinema. If they want you to succeed, they will quote from successful movies and reference the principles that made those movies great.

8. Is the script editor predominantly a writer?

Writers may be able to find creative solutions. On the other hand, if you are dealing with a consultant who is primarily an artist, the worldview of that writer may transpire through the advice. Writers by definition try to tell their own story. And some have trouble suppressing the artist inside in order to put the client before the art. Better to work with someone who has a broader understanding of the whole industry.

9. Do credits and testimonials give you confidence?

Do testimonials give evidence of a sharp, constructive and creative insight? Or just a 'nice person'? In fairness, editors can't (always) be blamed for the failure of films. But if you find a list of failed films, the message may not be the right one. If you want to write for the cinema and credits are biased towards television, you may want to look further.

10. Does the editor offer the service you require?

If you are working on an early draft, you need feedback on the story. It would be a waste of your money (and everybody's time) to get detailed script notes on style, formatting, dialogue etc. Different stages call for different types of advice. Does the consultant offer you these options? Or are all options skewed towards 'script notes'?

FORMER H'WOOD EXEC WILL GET YOU MOVIE DEAL!

Recently I have heard three stories first-hand from writers who had been given poor advice by 'senior American development people', 'produced writers', 'published screenwriting teachers' etc.

One writer believed she got the deal of the century when a former studio executive offered a Reader's Report for less than $150. When the report arrived, the excitement faded rapidly: a synopsis, a list of subjective character comments and 'apart from that, the story works fine.'

An other writer paid handsomely for a series of consultations with a respected author of screenwriting books. Although he ended up with a formally impressive draft, the writer soon realised the editor had not addressed an obvious, major structural weakness in the screenplay (as an experienced industry friend later revealed after a free reading of the script).

If someone works from LA, it doesn't mean they will give you better results. An emerging writer paid an established American script consultant top rates for several months. The script didn't even get shortlisted in a program for beginning screenwriters (in which two of the scripts I worked on received a big wad of development cash).

THREE KILOS OF FREE ADVICE

The first three readers brave enough to have (parts of) their synopsis published, I will offer a free Story Diagnosis. If you believe your synopsis is ready-to-go, I'll focus on the document's style and selling power.

Same for your script: send me the first fifteen pages of your screenplay. If you allow me to publish excerpts online, I will give you detailed scene feedback.

Please don't send any documents yet. Just send me an email to express interest and I'll get in touch about the next step.

Now, read the really small print below.


SOME REALLY SMALL PRINT

Isn't there a risk of my story being stolen?

Yes, there is.

It happens rarely but you can't eliminate the risk. That is why you need to register your screenplay first. I prefer you send me a synopsis of a draft you have already written and registered. Ideas cannot be protected. Screenplays can.

Alternatively, you can always send me something you had abandoned because it didn't work and you want to know why it didn't. In this case it's more about the learning experience than about getting that specific project up.

The Third Digital

My friend Michael Favelle is flying solo for the first time at the Cannes market. It will be a great experience, because he has a great film to sell. The entire line-up of Odin's Eye Ent. is pretty solid but the standout film is clearly BITTER AND TWISTED, for which the Americans fell in a big way earlier this month. It happened at De Niro's Tribeca film festival in New York. And even Michael Moore plays a role in the success story.

Flashback to August 2007.

Michael Favelle shows me BITTER AND TWISTED and I dig it. He knows this doesn't happen too often. The writing is dramatic and fresh, the direction shows a strong hand and the production design is splendid, showing a disciplined economy. The film stands out above anything I have recently seen. Days later I bump into Christopher Weekes, the writer/director/actor and I congratulate him on his amazing achievement.

Flash forward to late 2007.

I am writing a post-production plan for a feature with my fellow producer Brendan Sloane. The film is THE DINNER PARTY, competently written and directed by Scott Murden, an obvious talent from Canberra. Together with the creative team I find a way to improve the strength of the story on the basis of minimal pickups and one new major scene. It is a tremendous pleasure and we are all excited about the prospects.

Soon after, I learn B&T is competing in the same funding strand against THE DINNER PARTY. Bugger. We have a great project with a clear strategy for improvement but B&T is a monumental competitor.

When after weeks of uncertainty I hear we are selected and B&T isn't, I have mixed feelings about it.

Now, what has happened with THE DINNER PARTY since is another story and I won't go detail. What I can tell you, is that its completion is moving towards what is looking like a very happy ending.

I admit, up until this point, my story is pretty lame. Shit happens. Nobody is perfect. Judges make mistakes.

Flashback to September 2007 for the climax and resolution.

I am at the Odin's Eye offices. the atmosphere is gloomy. The funding agency doesn't agree with our excitement over B&W. The film has been rejected. Again. There is no money to complete post-production.

Before I get to the point, let me ask you this: how should a film at fine cut stage be judged? You watch it, right?

Wrong.

Believe it or not, but although the film was offered in a fine cut, the rejection was largely based on a reading of the screenplay.

Sorry, but what am I missing here???

To award that highest culinary distinction of a Michelin star, would the judge study the chef's recipe book?
To check the baby's health, does the doctor go back and screen dad's sperm and mum's egg?
In stead of visiting the Sistine chapel, would you rather stay outside and watch the pics in your Lonely Planet?

I mean, really... What planet do these people live on?

Here's the irony. While you were reading this article, Michael in Cannes has closed another deal and Christopher has been offered another movie to direct.

Let's wake up to the real world and learn to acknowledge and admit when stories are crap. But use reasonable standards and tools to judge films. Perhaps this will help revitalising an industry built upon egos, ignorance and one-hit-wonders.

After having let the above article rest for a while, I feel compelled to set one thing straight: over the past couple of years I have personally had completely positive experiences in dealing with government agencies. As a matter of fact, recent dealings have been wonderful and promising for the future of development. However this does in no way diminish my feelings about the above.

THE WELL. TREAT IT WELL

During the interview with Larry Jordan I mentioned one of my firm beliefs with regard to story development as an editor/consultant. What follows may be a tip for writers that are working closely with editors, producers, directors or just teams of co-writers.

Most early draft screenplays have one or more tentpole scenes that sooner or later will have to disappear. To an outsider this may be instantly obvious and it would be tempting to recommend the immediate removal of such scene(s).

This, however, is a perfect way to kill a complete story.

Over the years I have learned to understand that the excitement and inspiration of a writer to work on a story often springs from only a handful of scenes.

Some writers, even experienced filmmakers, are totally protective of those. For good reason.

Others have complete confidence in the advice of the consultant and will dispose of the scene at once. The development will stumble on, for a short or longer while. Ultimately the writer will lose interest in the story. The source of inspiration was plugged.

When this scene is not completely obstructing the flow of a story, I will recommend to 'leave it in for now'. If it is obviously of inferior quality or just plain wrong, I will ask the writer to 'park' it. Never delete, just put it aside "for later". Here is the one feature I really do like about Final Draft: the 'Omit Scene'. It just hides the scene. It really is still there, and you can always make it reappear if you feel so inclined.

Sometimes I refer to the story of Brian De Palma's repeated attempts to reference Eisenstein's Odessa Steps scene from BATTLESHIP POTEMKIN. It took him many years before he found a home for the scene: in THE UNTOUCHABLES.

Think twice before you excise.


WELCOME TO THE STORY DEPT. - PREMIUM ED.

The three winners of last months Premium giveaway are:

• 1. tefferm
• 2. rshaver
• 3. rclim24

To protect the winners from internet spam, I have hidden their full email addresses but after receipt of this newsletter they may expect an email with the login and password for the Premium site. This will remain valid for a full year. Congratulations!

I am encouraged to run the same competition again, only this time I am asking a little extra.

For my workshops and Premium Ed. web site, I am looking for case studies, synopses that I can review and possibly improve as an example of a story diagnosis. So, apart from entering your email address at the top left of this page, this time you will need to fulfill one more qualifying task to enter into the competition.

If you have a synopsis of an abandoned story idea, or a project in development that you would like to share publicly, email it to me and I may give it a detailed analysis on the blogsite. Your reward: one year free subscription to the Premium Ed. PLUS an improved draft of your synopsis.

Are you brave?

The three winners will get:
- Premium Articles direct to your email inbox
- The Story Dept. - Basic Edition (this newsletter)
- 15% off Options One and/or Two
- Discounted rates to selected workshops

(* The prize does NOT include the free Story Diagnosis. Or actually ... it might.)

If you are just interested in receiving news from The Story Dept. as and when I write it, have a look at the different subscription options. Most are free, only one is Premium.

A Good Read

Recently I had the privilege and honour of reading a script by one of the most hyped young writers in this country, face on covers of magazines and all that. My expectations were high and yes: it delivered! I spent an amazing two hours reading it as the characters really jumped off the page and the writing was beautiful. Then I put the script down and I knew the movie would fail.

What I had read was a great short novel. Brilliant prose, lively detail and sharp dialogue. But the story didn't work because we would not care for the protagonist. This is a typical mistake: confusing a good script with a good story. Beware of the 'good read'. Or as my best friend Chris always says: "Armaggedon was a good read too." In the case of this Australian hopeful, the story was told from a protagonist without any clear objective. Ironically, a character close to the protagonist would have much better fitted that role without the need to significantly change the premise.

The joy of the 'good read' is truly a danger and one of many reasons why you don't rely on friends for script feedback, even if they work in the film industry. I have heard of aspiring screenwriters asking advice from assistant directors, decorators production managers. Although like everybody in our industry, these people SHOULD have a notion, in reality they hardly ever do. (As a matter of fact, a lot of decision-makers don't have a clue either.I could give you a recent example of a script where even the writer admitted 'there was no story'. Still he got the money to develop it. Develop what? The novel? I won't name the example or I would be dead. Fact is that the writer in question ironises about this reality when he says that "to get your hands on delicious development money you don't have to have a great script, it only has to be a little 'better' than the norm. And if you can do that with no story...good times."


THE WISE AND THE NOT SO WISE

As somebody who takes the craft very seriously, I'm sometimes frustrated to see how people who should know better send out confusing messages. Now take this quote, which I found on a web site claiming to give story advice and tips to writers:

"As for the content of your screenplay; structure counts, usually. Have a clear Act I, II, and III. Try to hook the reader on the first page! Make the first five (or ten pages at most) be Act I, wherein you introduce all the main characters and show the reader the who, what, where, when and why of your story. Notice that I said SHOW. Telling is not so good. Film is a visual medium and you should actually be writing a FILM, not a script. Act II is the rest of the story, where you build on what you started, and it climaxes at the clear end of Act II. Act III should be five or ten (max) pages, where all loose ends are tied up and all conflicts are resolved."

I must admit I had never heard of the Ten Minutes First Act. And the second act being "where you build on what you started". How can you be more vague? You know what is REALLY frightening? The person talking is the director of an internationally renowned film festival. And as for: "structure counts, usually"... The festival director is probably hoping of getting the new KOYAANISQATSI.

Let me counterbalance the nonsense with a solid quote from Chris Vogler, the man behind The Writer's Journey. This time not about the 'big structure' or the Journey Stages but about scenes:

"A scene is a business deal. It may not involve money but it will always involve some change in the contract between characters or in the balance of power. It's a transaction, in which two or more people enter with one kind of deal between them, and negotiate or battle until a new deal has been cut, at which point the scene should end. It could be the reversal of a power structure. The underdog seizes power by blackmail. Or it could be the forging of a new alliance or enmity. Two people who hated each other make a new deal to work together in a threatening situation. A boy asks a girl out and she accepts or rejects his offer. Two gangsters make an alliance to rub out a rival. A mob forces a sheriff to turn a man over for lynching. The meat of the scene is the negotiation to arrive at the new deal, and when the deal is cut, the scene is over, period. "


THE POWER OF A PARADIGM SHIFT

Years ago a good friend returned from L.A. where he had attended a much hyped screenwriting seminar. The speaker made a point by asking the room who would visualise the scenes while writing. I agreed with my friend's astonishment when he reported that only half of the writers raised their hands. What were the others thinking? What idiots to believe you can actually write movies without thinking visually???

I have come to fundamentally change my view on this. Did Alan Ball necessarily think visually when he wrote SIX FEET UNDER? Or AMERICAN BEAUTY? The last boasts wonderfully visual scenes but most of the script's power lies entirely not on its visual level. We do indeed need visible elements to show character subtext, but not necessarily a visual context. Think about CRASH or more recently THE LIVES OF OTHERS. On what level do these movies make an impact?

Whether a movie works or not, is decided on an entirely different, almost abstract and non-visual level. Until a late draft, a screenwriter doesn't always need to visualise. And you can take this right through to very visual action flicks such as DIE HARD, THE FUGITIVE or even SPIDER-MAN. Visual elements such as setting, time of day, camera angles etc. could have been easily replaced without really changing the story. They might have even worked without the eye candy but they surely wouldn't have without the character drama underneath.

Recently I was recommended THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE. Early in the book Stephen Covey speaks about the Paradigm Shift. (Beware: this Paradigm has nothing to do with Syd Field.) It's about looking at something from a specific angle and (not) seeing what others see. I found this concept very similar to reading text vs. reading subtext. I had been reading screenplays on the surface for years before it most literally 'clicked' in my head; it felt as if a 'sixth sense' had switched on, as if I was suddenly reading with an infrared eye.

Switching on the understanding of this subtextual level is a skill writers, just like producers or directors, need to develop before they can become successful. It is just as essential as switching on your desk light at night to read.



THE LOGLINE

"A logline is a one-sentence summary of your script. It's the short blurb in TV guides that tells you what a movie is about and helps you decide if you're interested in seeing it. It's the grabber that excites your interest." (-Scriptologis.Com).

The logline shouldn't be confused with the tagline (marketing one-liner for the poster) or even slugline ("EXT. KAREL'S OFFICE - DAY").

Once I believed you can only write your story's logline when you have finished your script and even the one page synopsis. Until then, it may not even be clear what the story is about.

Here are a few good reasons why you should start thinking of the logline earlier. First of all: a good logline is a good indication that you have a story. If after a few drafts you still can't find a logline that captures what your movie is about, you really need to think hard about the story again. Secondly: it will become an essential selling tool for your script. A strong logline will give you the confidence that you have a story: you'll be able to pitch it with passion! In both senses the logline does pretty much what I promote about the synopsis in my consultancy services: it helps you improve AND sell the story. All that with the economy of one simple sentence.

I am currently working as a consultant on an amazing high concept story with some major story issues. It is always nerve-wrecking having to break the news that to unleash its potential, a story needs to be significantly reworked. But when I found out the writer had already written a logline expressing exactly what I believed the story should deliver, I sighed: we were on the same wavelength.

The moment you find a logline expressing your intentions, you have found an invaluable tool to stay on track. It could be the road map saving you from disaster. If the logline is selling and you stay true to it during the writing of the draft, chances are you will have a selling story.


THE $5 SCRIPT SOFTWARE: ASHAMPOO'S TEXTMAKER:

I recently had a computer scare when it looked my four year old laptop was about to die. That would have been a disaster in a few ways, not the least because I recently bought a - legitimate - OEM version of Office Standard. I lose my laptop, I lose that.

No wonder I was interested when recently I received an offer to an elegant software program called 'Textmaker', which does everything I use MS Word for. Only for $4.99 only. And legitimate. If you are looking for a good quality text processor, which is BTW faster than MS Word and whose license won't expire if your computer dies, have a look here:

http://www.ashampoo.com

I believe the offers on these newsletters remain open for at least 1 purchase per customer.


BEATS VS. TURNING POINTS

While working on a step outline with one of my clients, it bothered me a number of scenes ended in the exact same way: the protagonist would respond to a situation by rejection or reluctance to respond.

None of these scenes really ended in a plot point, there was no hook nor change to the story's direction. So I didn't find the scenes' ending strong enough and almost suggested to cut them altogether. Still, the point the writer was trying to make about the protagonist was a valid one: it gave us important information we would need later in the story.

The solution we came up with: keep the protagonist's reaction as a scene beat but work towards a stronger scene ending by creating a new plot point for each in order to turn the scene, create anticipation and propel it into the next one. Not an easy task but ultimately better than cutting.


THE QUIZ

As part of a Google Adwords campaign I've created a quiz about the craft and - to a lesser extent - history of screenwriting. If one or two questions are a matter of opinion rather than fact, you will find the answers in The Story Dept. Twenty challenges, definitely not for beginners (and neither is this blog, apparently) but essential knowledge for whomever is serious about the craft. Anyway, if you consider yourself an expert, or at least intermediate level writer, you shouldn't be intimidated. Click through until the very end of the quiz and you'll land back on the OZZYWOOD web site after seeing all the right answers. Have fun!

http://ozzywood.com/quiz