Who Are You Gonna Call?

Whether you are a producer, writer or director, sooner or later your project needs the advice of an expert. Movies cost millions. Their development is much like the setup of a million-dollar business. So think of the expert as a business coach. Major decisions will indirectly impact on your business' bottom line. Any advice leading to those decisions will in some way or other contribute to the success or failure of your project, your slate, your career.

It all starts with that first draft.

You give it to a friend, because your friend likes you enough to sacrifice a couple of hours and help your future Hollywood career.

But unless that friend is a pro, how can you expect expert advise? Your friend may have never read a single screenplay, produced or unproduced.

McKee says: don't ask your friends to read your script, but to listen to your story summary, told over a coffee. Ten minutes, no more.

So how is that going to help you?

I'm not sure your friend will distinguish a wonderfully told screen story with engaging characters from something that is wildly imaginitive but plain wrong for the screen.

If your friend doesn't work in a creative position in the industry, will you get reliable career advise? I think not.

Honest advise you may get from a producer or an agent, even an experienced fellow writer. These people's businesses rely on stories that sell. You might ask a director or actor for their opinion, but - with all due respect - it will be less reliable.

If no working professional sacrifices their time to further your aspirations, don't despair. There is an army of script editors, screenplay consultants, story analysts etc. out there to help you.

Whether you like it or not, you are going to pay them.

DO YOU TRUST THIS PERSON?

If you are a first-time writer, you will need input on more than one draft and over the course of many months until your script is ready to go into the world and compete with already established writers.

If you are serious about breaking in and earning a buck, think hard about who you are giving your money to. Good advice can be costly.

But cheap advice can be far more costly.

Too many screenwriters make life-changing decisions based on advice given by their friends, peers or so-called experts. Because people are writers themselves or have web sites advertising their services, they are not necessarily qualified to decide over your future.

The type of collaboration you are entering into is so crucially important, you really need to do your research. Here are a number of questions to consider before you make a decision. And when I speak of (script) editor, I mean 'story or script consultant' in the broader sense.

1. What is the editor's vision on screenwriting?

If you believe real characters don't change and your consultant insists that you must have a character transformation, you are effectively on a different wave length. Check out the consultants' web sites. Does it show their vision on story and script development? Or is it full of marketing speak, flowery promises about bringing out your voice, adding to the local culture etc.? Ultimately you want to become a successful writer, earn money and build a career.

2. What is the editor's vision on script development?

Is it a 'snapshot person'? An experienced reader, specialised merely in providing script notes and assessments? Or is the focus on getting your script from its current draft to something that can be marketed or produced? Does the consultant's approach dig to the core of the story or does it only fiddle with format and style on the surface?

3. What is the script editor's taste for movies?

If yours is an edgy sci-fi with elements of raw graphic violence, your money will be wasted on the king of romantic comedy. Can you find a set of favourite movies you both know? Does the consultant have taste that is broad enough for a true professional?

4. Does the editor differentiate between story and script?

Story deals with plot, which is how most audiences will refer to your film. Script deals with the detailed expression of story on the scene level. Writing script notes takes time but is relatively simple (I'll give you a whole list of tips & tricks for free). When you choose your consultant, be aware of these two areas of expertise.

5. Does the script editor speak your language?

If you talk about story like Syd Field, in Plot Point One and Plot Point Two, things may get complicated when your consultant prefers Crossing the First and Second Threshold. Conversely, if your editor doesn't believe in The Hero's Journey, you have a good reason for concern . A good consultant knows most if not all story theories and establish a terminology that fits your taste and beliefs.

6. Has the script editor published anything?

Does the web site give you more than fees and contact details? Is there a blog? Does it express the type of advice you expect? Are the views expressed on the blog or web site original? Can you find an insight you haven't found anywhere else before, which makes total sense? Or does it all read like a collection of cut-and-paste jobs from Robert McKee or - worse - other web sites?

7. Does the script editor share your passion?

If they care about the craft, it will transpire through their writing. If they are passionate, they will want you to succeed. If they love movies, they will know examples from both mainstream and specialty cinema. If they want you to succeed, they will quote from successful movies and reference the principles that made those movies great.

8. Is the script editor predominantly a writer?

Writers may be able to find creative solutions. On the other hand, if you are dealing with a consultant who is primarily an artist, the worldview of that writer may transpire through the advice. Writers by definition try to tell their own story. And some have trouble suppressing the artist inside in order to put the client before the art. Better to work with someone who has a broader understanding of the whole industry.

9. Do credits and testimonials give you confidence?

Do testimonials give evidence of a sharp, constructive and creative insight? Or just a 'nice person'? In fairness, editors can't (always) be blamed for the failure of films. But if you find a list of failed films, the message may not be the right one. If you want to write for the cinema and credits are biased towards television, you may want to look further.

10. Does the editor offer the service you require?

If you are working on an early draft, you need feedback on the story. It would be a waste of your money (and everybody's time) to get detailed script notes on style, formatting, dialogue etc. Different stages call for different types of advice. Does the consultant offer you these options? Or are all options skewed towards 'script notes'?

FORMER H'WOOD EXEC WILL GET YOU MOVIE DEAL!

Recently I have heard three stories first-hand from writers who had been given poor advice by 'senior American development people', 'produced writers', 'published screenwriting teachers' etc.

One writer believed she got the deal of the century when a former studio executive offered a Reader's Report for less than $150. When the report arrived, the excitement faded rapidly: a synopsis, a list of subjective character comments and 'apart from that, the story works fine.'

An other writer paid handsomely for a series of consultations with a respected author of screenwriting books. Although he ended up with a formally impressive draft, the writer soon realised the editor had not addressed an obvious, major structural weakness in the screenplay (as an experienced industry friend later revealed after a free reading of the script).

If someone works from LA, it doesn't mean they will give you better results. An emerging writer paid an established American script consultant top rates for several months. The script didn't even get shortlisted in a program for beginning screenwriters (in which two of the scripts I worked on received a big wad of development cash).

THREE KILOS OF FREE ADVICE

The first three readers brave enough to have (parts of) their synopsis published, I will offer a free Story Diagnosis. If you believe your synopsis is ready-to-go, I'll focus on the document's style and selling power.

Same for your script: send me the first fifteen pages of your screenplay. If you allow me to publish excerpts online, I will give you detailed scene feedback.

Please don't send any documents yet. Just send me an email to express interest and I'll get in touch about the next step.

Now, read the really small print below.


SOME REALLY SMALL PRINT

Isn't there a risk of my story being stolen?

Yes, there is.

It happens rarely but you can't eliminate the risk. That is why you need to register your screenplay first. I prefer you send me a synopsis of a draft you have already written and registered. Ideas cannot be protected. Screenplays can.

Alternatively, you can always send me something you had abandoned because it didn't work and you want to know why it didn't. In this case it's more about the learning experience than about getting that specific project up.

The Third Digital

My friend Michael Favelle is flying solo for the first time at the Cannes market. It will be a great experience, because he has a great film to sell. The entire line-up of Odin's Eye Ent. is pretty solid but the standout film is clearly BITTER AND TWISTED, for which the Americans fell in a big way earlier this month. It happened at De Niro's Tribeca film festival in New York. And even Michael Moore plays a role in the success story.

Flashback to August 2007.

Michael Favelle shows me BITTER AND TWISTED and I dig it. He knows this doesn't happen too often. The writing is dramatic and fresh, the direction shows a strong hand and the production design is splendid, showing a disciplined economy. The film stands out above anything I have recently seen. Days later I bump into Christopher Weekes, the writer/director/actor and I congratulate him on his amazing achievement.

Flash forward to late 2007.

I am writing a post-production plan for a feature with my fellow producer Brendan Sloane. The film is THE DINNER PARTY, competently written and directed by Scott Murden, an obvious talent from Canberra. Together with the creative team I find a way to improve the strength of the story on the basis of minimal pickups and one new major scene. It is a tremendous pleasure and we are all excited about the prospects.

Soon after, I learn B&T is competing in the same funding strand against THE DINNER PARTY. Bugger. We have a great project with a clear strategy for improvement but B&T is a monumental competitor.

When after weeks of uncertainty I hear we are selected and B&T isn't, I have mixed feelings about it.

Now, what has happened with THE DINNER PARTY since is another story and I won't go detail. What I can tell you, is that its completion is moving towards what is looking like a very happy ending.

I admit, up until this point, my story is pretty lame. Shit happens. Nobody is perfect. Judges make mistakes.

Flashback to September 2007 for the climax and resolution.

I am at the Odin's Eye offices. the atmosphere is gloomy. The funding agency doesn't agree with our excitement over B&W. The film has been rejected. Again. There is no money to complete post-production.

Before I get to the point, let me ask you this: how should a film at fine cut stage be judged? You watch it, right?

Wrong.

Believe it or not, but although the film was offered in a fine cut, the rejection was largely based on a reading of the screenplay.

Sorry, but what am I missing here???

To award that highest culinary distinction of a Michelin star, would the judge study the chef's recipe book?
To check the baby's health, does the doctor go back and screen dad's sperm and mum's egg?
In stead of visiting the Sistine chapel, would you rather stay outside and watch the pics in your Lonely Planet?

I mean, really... What planet do these people live on?

Here's the irony. While you were reading this article, Michael in Cannes has closed another deal and Christopher has been offered another movie to direct.

Let's wake up to the real world and learn to acknowledge and admit when stories are crap. But use reasonable standards and tools to judge films. Perhaps this will help revitalising an industry built upon egos, ignorance and one-hit-wonders.

After having let the above article rest for a while, I feel compelled to set one thing straight: over the past couple of years I have personally had completely positive experiences in dealing with government agencies. As a matter of fact, recent dealings have been wonderful and promising for the future of development. However this does in no way diminish my feelings about the above.

THE WELL. TREAT IT WELL

During the interview with Larry Jordan I mentioned one of my firm beliefs with regard to story development as an editor/consultant. What follows may be a tip for writers that are working closely with editors, producers, directors or just teams of co-writers.

Most early draft screenplays have one or more tentpole scenes that sooner or later will have to disappear. To an outsider this may be instantly obvious and it would be tempting to recommend the immediate removal of such scene(s).

This, however, is a perfect way to kill a complete story.

Over the years I have learned to understand that the excitement and inspiration of a writer to work on a story often springs from only a handful of scenes.

Some writers, even experienced filmmakers, are totally protective of those. For good reason.

Others have complete confidence in the advice of the consultant and will dispose of the scene at once. The development will stumble on, for a short or longer while. Ultimately the writer will lose interest in the story. The source of inspiration was plugged.

When this scene is not completely obstructing the flow of a story, I will recommend to 'leave it in for now'. If it is obviously of inferior quality or just plain wrong, I will ask the writer to 'park' it. Never delete, just put it aside "for later". Here is the one feature I really do like about Final Draft: the 'Omit Scene'. It just hides the scene. It really is still there, and you can always make it reappear if you feel so inclined.

Sometimes I refer to the story of Brian De Palma's repeated attempts to reference Eisenstein's Odessa Steps scene from BATTLESHIP POTEMKIN. It took him many years before he found a home for the scene: in THE UNTOUCHABLES.

Think twice before you excise.


WELCOME TO THE STORY DEPT. - PREMIUM ED.

The three winners of last months Premium giveaway are:

• 1. tefferm
• 2. rshaver
• 3. rclim24

To protect the winners from internet spam, I have hidden their full email addresses but after receipt of this newsletter they may expect an email with the login and password for the Premium site. This will remain valid for a full year. Congratulations!

I am encouraged to run the same competition again, only this time I am asking a little extra.

For my workshops and Premium Ed. web site, I am looking for case studies, synopses that I can review and possibly improve as an example of a story diagnosis. So, apart from entering your email address at the top left of this page, this time you will need to fulfill one more qualifying task to enter into the competition.

If you have a synopsis of an abandoned story idea, or a project in development that you would like to share publicly, email it to me and I may give it a detailed analysis on the blogsite. Your reward: one year free subscription to the Premium Ed. PLUS an improved draft of your synopsis.

Are you brave?

The three winners will get:
- Premium Articles direct to your email inbox
- The Story Dept. - Basic Edition (this newsletter)
- 15% off Options One and/or Two
- Discounted rates to selected workshops

(* The prize does NOT include the free Story Diagnosis. Or actually ... it might.)

If you are just interested in receiving news from The Story Dept. as and when I write it, have a look at the different subscription options. Most are free, only one is Premium.

Yada Yada Yada...

Recently a friend recommended I should teach a course on screen dialogue. I found this surprising as I am not an expert on dialogue. I am not a native English speaker and I most certainly lack a deep knowledge of vocabulary.

My main reason for not jumping into dialogue workshops: I often read great dialogue, but I have never received one spec script where the structure couldn't be improved.

Structure is my shtick.

There is still so much to learn in this area, and you can't find it all in the books. I told my friend I have only scratched the surface and I'll turn my attention to a new area once story and structure have revealed all their secrets.

I mentioned this conversation to one of my most respected clients. He thought his use of dialogue had improved significantly through our development sessions. His script is certainly going the right direction: The coverage from a mini-major was thorough and contained genuine praise. Anyhow, it started me thinking about how I approach dialogue.

Because many writers love dialogue so much, I will stray from my path and share five principles. I am sure there are other, more important rules, but these are the ones that spring to mind. If you go against any of them, you need to have a very good reason.

About dialogue:
1. It should contribute to subtext more than plot.
2. Its semantics should be perfect, not organic or defective.
3. Its grammar SHOULD be organic and defective.
4. Its rhythm should support the scene's rhythm.
5. It can be reflective, not reflexive.

There is one more secret rule I love, which I only give away to my students and clients. It's about that one specific scene where you can - and must - break almost every rules.

Each of these techniques is a challenge in itself and you must develop a process to be aware of it during your own editing. Great dialogue doesn't usually flow naturally from your pen. It is laboured, crafted and endlessly polished.

That is why often at the very end of your development, when you are tantalisingly close to the final draft, you will need to do a thorough 'dialogue pass' and make sure every line and every word hits the mark.

Inexperienced screenwriters have great trouble judging whether their dialogue really works. This is because of their own tastes, education, movie influences etc. Another reason why they will always need a pro to do a final polish of your work before you send it out, even if the story works.

It can be tremendously helpful to workshop your lines with actors before committing to a shooting script. Beware: inexperienced actors will almost always favour dialogue over subtext.

Oh, and I fully agree with Robert McKee that often the line of dialogue the writer is most proud of, should be cut. Because Tarantino and Woody Allen get away with it, doesn't mean you should push your luck.

BREAK IT DOWN

Right after learning the principles of structure, it will be hard to apply them to your own work immediately.

Better is to consolidate your understanding by applying it to films you know, by watching them and identifying the key turning points.

A breakdown in scenes or plot points is an excellent start. To help you with this, I will regularly publish examples from different genres.

My structural overviews are hardly definitive. They are often different from the views of people I regard very highly. That doesn't make either of them 'wrong'. I don't believe in 'formula' and the main concern is to find a process that helps you creating and critiquing a structure so it has the best chance in the market place.

On the other hand, they can often be improved and I welcome your input.

Now, a lot of work goes into these structure articles and I want to reward my clients and Premium Subscribers, who pay for my time. Therefore, these overviews will only be accessible to non-paying readers for a limited period of time. During this time, you can copy it for your own use, not distribute it in any way or for any purpose without my written consent.

So far I have published five analyses:

Assault on Precinct 13 (Original Version)
Michael Clayton
Ghost World
Terminator 2
The Shawshank Redemption

The first two have gone Premium already, the remaining three will too, at the time of publication of my next post. But more will follow, so keep watching this space.


WILL READ FOR MONEY

I filled my shopping trolley with $489 worth of groceries and at checkout I said:

"I want all for free: soon I'll have a big family to feed and you'll make so much money, it is worth getting my business now!"

Guess what: it didn't work.

--- (deeeeeep breath - preparing for loooong whinge) ---

Every f***ing week people email me asking to read their work - FOR FREE. They all believe they have written the latest blockbuster, indie comedy, crime caper, romcom, etc. You name it.

And they all really - really - want me to spend half a day or a day of my precious time reading their shit rather than earning a living or spending time with my three-year old son Baxter.

Guys: this is my job.

Do you ever go into work in the morning and tell your boss:

"Hey listen, today I'm just doing you a favour, don't pay me. I love my job SO much!!"

With the persistence of leeches on steroids these people try to make me believe I am ruining my chances of becoming a billionnaire producer if I don't read their stuff.

Some keep coming back. Day after day. Week after week. Year after year.

Ever heard of the expression "pushing s*** uphill"?

Mostly I just try to make them see the light and sell my services, because without professional help they don't stand a chance of ever getting read.

But sometimes it just drives me plain mad.

If these writers had done their research on who I am, they would have known my views on screenwriting are pasted all over my three web sites. These sites have decent rankings and show up whenever you google my name.

Interestingly, the pattern is quite common:
1. First they send a sloppy synopsis, which;
2. I reject.
3. Then they tell me the script is better than the synopsis.
4. I kindly explain I don't work like that.
5. They insist I should read the 120p. script.
6. I reiterate what I have explained before, but offer to read on a consultancy basis.
7. They insist by repeating exactly what they have said before, only LOUDER.
8. Etc. etc. etc.

Sometimes I give in.

And guess what: in the rare cases I can free up time to read ten pages or so and give them free feedback, people get offended.

Only yesterday I received a highly insulting email in response to what was a polite, professional - free of cost - assessment of (part of) a screenplay. You're not prepared to lose? Well, don't play.

Which brings me to the following, more positive consideration:

I am very proud to say I am one of the very few consultants around the world who is completely transparent about their approach, their knowledge and their fees. You can read two years worth of articles on story and screenwriting in this blog, in which I am 100% open about my views on the craft.

But, you know what? Some of these people are just not interested in screenwriting. They just want some money to get their film made.

Apologies if I start to sound like a cranky old bastard. True, I am one. But I don't want to sound like one.

So:


THE GOOD NEWS

Currently I am working with six smart, dedicated writers with promising but unfinished stories. They have committed to regular consultancy sessions over a period of four months or longer. Yesterday an existing client signed up for the Intensive Pack.

More than a dozen return clients book regular Step Outline sessions and over the past two years, more than a hundred satisfied clients have paid for one or more services to improve their skills.

The Story Department - Premium Ed. has subscribers from both Australia's East and West Coast and from overseas.

The Story Workshops have been endorsed by Screen Development Australia, The ACT and NSW Writers Centres, The International Film College, and recently also the Australian Writers Guild, with whom I'm working on a workshop in South Australia.

If you have been considering joining a workshop or hiring my services, perhaps now is the time to get your project finally on the rails!

And more good news:


HAPPY BLOGDAY

The Story Department is now officially toilet-trained.

I have been crapping on about structure for a full two years now. No fad. Can you believe that even with 24 months, we haven't even made it into the average life span of Technorati's TOP 100 blogs?

Slowly the world is getting to know The Story Department:
- We are listed on Scribomatic (two places up from UNK).
- We are being interviewed by The Digital Production Buzz.
- We'll soon be interviewed on IF Magazine.

Also coinciding with the second birthday, there is a lot of news to be shared about the Premium Ed. too. Here we go:

- Australian readers can now enjoy much faster browsing and download speeds, thanks to the mirror site, hosted in Melbourne.

- Telephone consultations can now be recorded and made available to clients as mp3 downloads. No more frantic note-taking during our creative discussions.

- Top-level clients now receive a personal, password-protected web page with documents related to their projects.


PREMIUM GIVEAWAY

I am giving away a free one-year subscription(*) to the Story Department - Premium Ed. for the first three people who subscribe to this free blog.

Just enter your email address at the top right of this page. You'll receive an email each time a new post is added to this blog, which shouldn't be more often than once every week or two on average.

The three winners will get:

- Premium Articles direct to your email inbox
- The Story Dept. - Basic Edition (this newsletter)
- 15% off Options One and/or Two
- Discounted rates to selected workshops

(* The prize does NOT include the free Story Diagnosis)

Good luck!

Karel

What's the Story?

The Metro Screen story structure workshop sold out and it seems there will be another one soon. If soon is not soon enough, you can register now for an intensive one-day session on 1 June 2008.

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN:
This one day workshop is intensive but fun. It teaches you to distinguish between those screenplays with a strong potential to reach a wide audience and those that are just a fun read. You will finally understand what the 'three-act-structure' really stands for.

The workshop is packed with examples of great and not so great movies and at the end YOU will be able to point at the main causes for strong or poor box office results for most movies.

BACKGROUND:
The great careers in our industry are not built on volume of work but rather an informed choice of projects. This applies to writers, directors and producers but equally to screen technicians and particularly to actors.

Why do you think Matt Damon is the #1 box office actor today? Does he act better than Mark Wahlberg, Joaquin Phoenix, De Niro, Pacino etc.? No. He is a screenwriter and story genius. He understands which scripts will make money.

ESSENTIAL FOR FILMMAKERS:
Without the knowledge taught in this course, you stand a better chance of winning the lottery than making it in movies. A bold statement but painfully true. Story structure is not just another aspect of screenwriting. It's what makes or breaks your movie career.

This is the last opportunity for 2007 to take this course in one day. Of the 10 available places for each day, some will be taken by fimmakers on the waiting list from last month's course. Don't miss out this time!

INTENDED AUDIENCE:
Screenwriters - Does your concept hold up? How to improve the structure?
Actors - Which projects to fight for? Which projects will kickstart your career?
Producers & Directors - How to distinguish between hits and duds.

COURSE DATES:
- TBA

THE LOCATION:
The wonderful, sensational and inspirational NSW Writers Centre under the jacarandas of Callan Park, Rozelle where parking is never a problem. Check out the second hand book shelf with gems at $2 to keep you entertained during the breaks.

TESTIMONIALS:
"Karel's course is excellent. It finally sunk in, having studied structure twice previously with high calibre teachers. Karel delivers crucial basics, sound models and advanced techniques that work. Thank you Karel for sharing your extensive knowledge."
-Brenda Jackson

"I came to you with a bunch of scenes in the hope of finding a story and when I look back I'm still surprised at how far we have come. Now the script has won the 2007 Monte Miller award. Thanks again Karel."
-Nathan Fielding, Winner 2007 AWG Monte Miller Award

"He never gets distracted with the little stuff that tends to fix itself when the important parts are working harmoniously. Karel is a rare beast amongst story consultants - a film literate and long-standing aficionado of many film genres. I hold Karel in very high regard."
- Kieran Galvin, Writer / Director PUPPY, Writer FEED